Traumatic Event Stories - Heart Failure
Story Type: Traumatic Events - loss of a loved one, first love, betrayal of a friend, physical or emotional harm.
Mr. Brown, your heart will heal...
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6:45AM - June 13th - Beginning to lose consciousness, I struggled to walk 10 feet in 10 minutes. I prayed, "Oh God, please send someone to find me now." Every morning when I walked, there have been cars of people heading off to work. But not today. Over the crest of the hill, I could almost see our house, but there was no way to get there and I'd left my phone behind. I was going to die of a heart attack, right there in the road, a hundred steps from my family who's fast asleep as the sun begins to rise.
6:49AM - The upper chambers of my heart running at over 200 beats per minute (normal is ~ 80), I was waiting for my heart to quit. I didn't want to die. |
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I didn't think it was time. At 44, in the middle of the road, with my vision starting to blur, before collapsing, I decided to lay down and hope for someone to find me. I thought, "I could lay on the side of the road and no one possibly find me soon enough, but if I laid in the middle of the road, they may run over me as they come over the crest of the hill." I decided to lay on the edge. Then, as I struggled to breathe, I gazed to my right and there it was. The sunrise was so beautiful and warm over the pony pasture. It was as though God Himself, was saying "Good morning, my son." I lifted my head up and off in the distance came a Knoxville Police cruiser. In five years, I've seen police cars pass maybe three times. The officer sped and abruptly stopped beside me and jumped out. I struggled to my feet with a bit of relief and more anxiety now. The first thing he did was say, "Put your hands in the air." and I did. Then he frisked me and asked me five questions as I explained I was having a serious heart problem. He put me in the back of his metal cage vehicle with a new hope but also shock to be in the back of a police car.
7:25AM - In the ER at Tennova Heart Hospital, they were not able to stabilize my heart. We could see the monitor and hear the alarms go off as my heart, within seconds would jump from 60-90, 120-90, 110-160. I was in the care of a nurse whose name was Kris, sent by God to help calm and care for people in deep stress. As the professionals made decisions and plans, Kris seemed to work in the background and when doctors would leave, he would talk to Francie and me about our ministry of helping people who are stuck or struggling. It was like he strangely already knew. Francie stepped out to call a few friends for prayer and when it was just him with me, I felt a deep comfort and didn't seem to even hear the alarms. However, Kris also seemed to have his own plans going on for me and would act like he was a nobody when doctors came in and then when they left, he immediately scrambled to steer my future in another direction.
8:55AM - There was a blanket of prayer as Kris moved along the counter with supplies, charts and medicines. He was surely an angel, with a 'working man's' medical and spiritual degree. After 90 minutes, he began to scurry a bit as he knew more than we did as to what was about to happen and was working fast and hard to prevent it. He stepped out to take a call outside the curtain. "Yes Mam. I'll get him ready. Yes, Mam." Without being able to stabilize my heart, the doctors scheduled emergency surgery and began to plan accordingly. Kris hung up the phone, flung open the curtain in a sweat, "We've got to get this to work." He came close to me and with his right hand grabbed the bag of medicine that was pumping through my veins, placed his left on my wire-covered chest, looked at the monitors and said, "Come on now, work with me. Come on." He was not speaking to us, he was speaking directly to my heart. Silence fell as we waited. About ten seconds later, something clicked in me, "Look at that, look at that. Come on, hang in there with me, hang in there with me." He scrambled to the phone. "Dr Addams, Dr Addams, his heart has switched over to sinus. It has stabilized. (pause) Yes, Mam. Yes, Mam. Ok" This was victory for me and for Kris.
Chris believed when everyone else had given up on my heart. He knew that emergency heart surgery often doesn't go well or end well. I didn't. I wanted them to fix it right then. Six weeks later, after many tests including 3-D modeling to plan my surgery, a six-person team spent two hours inside my heart fixing an electrical system that had long been broken. With all they did, I can't imagine them doing it without a plan. I thanked everyone all along through the journey, but I never went back to find Kris. I will.
Leading up to the surgery in August, I prayed that the Lord would heal my 'whole' heart. And he has in ways in which I hoped, but I never expected. Physically, my heart is running better than it has my whole life. The most profound medical thing I will share is this. Waking up in the hospital and over the weeks, I felt as though my chest had been burned from the inside out. And it had. This is what was so profound from the doctor, "Robert, it will take your heart about a month to physically heal from the procedure. However, it will take a couple months after that for your heart and brain to learn how to work together again. When it comes to exercise or trying to exert yourself, your brain will try the same pathways that were mis-wired and now have been severed. At first, you will struggle and get tired doing basic things like taking out the trash or getting the mail. But, keep in mind, that it is the struggle itself that will cause your heart and brain to learn how to work together again. Mr. Brown, your heart will heal."
7:25AM - In the ER at Tennova Heart Hospital, they were not able to stabilize my heart. We could see the monitor and hear the alarms go off as my heart, within seconds would jump from 60-90, 120-90, 110-160. I was in the care of a nurse whose name was Kris, sent by God to help calm and care for people in deep stress. As the professionals made decisions and plans, Kris seemed to work in the background and when doctors would leave, he would talk to Francie and me about our ministry of helping people who are stuck or struggling. It was like he strangely already knew. Francie stepped out to call a few friends for prayer and when it was just him with me, I felt a deep comfort and didn't seem to even hear the alarms. However, Kris also seemed to have his own plans going on for me and would act like he was a nobody when doctors came in and then when they left, he immediately scrambled to steer my future in another direction.
8:55AM - There was a blanket of prayer as Kris moved along the counter with supplies, charts and medicines. He was surely an angel, with a 'working man's' medical and spiritual degree. After 90 minutes, he began to scurry a bit as he knew more than we did as to what was about to happen and was working fast and hard to prevent it. He stepped out to take a call outside the curtain. "Yes Mam. I'll get him ready. Yes, Mam." Without being able to stabilize my heart, the doctors scheduled emergency surgery and began to plan accordingly. Kris hung up the phone, flung open the curtain in a sweat, "We've got to get this to work." He came close to me and with his right hand grabbed the bag of medicine that was pumping through my veins, placed his left on my wire-covered chest, looked at the monitors and said, "Come on now, work with me. Come on." He was not speaking to us, he was speaking directly to my heart. Silence fell as we waited. About ten seconds later, something clicked in me, "Look at that, look at that. Come on, hang in there with me, hang in there with me." He scrambled to the phone. "Dr Addams, Dr Addams, his heart has switched over to sinus. It has stabilized. (pause) Yes, Mam. Yes, Mam. Ok" This was victory for me and for Kris.
Chris believed when everyone else had given up on my heart. He knew that emergency heart surgery often doesn't go well or end well. I didn't. I wanted them to fix it right then. Six weeks later, after many tests including 3-D modeling to plan my surgery, a six-person team spent two hours inside my heart fixing an electrical system that had long been broken. With all they did, I can't imagine them doing it without a plan. I thanked everyone all along through the journey, but I never went back to find Kris. I will.
Leading up to the surgery in August, I prayed that the Lord would heal my 'whole' heart. And he has in ways in which I hoped, but I never expected. Physically, my heart is running better than it has my whole life. The most profound medical thing I will share is this. Waking up in the hospital and over the weeks, I felt as though my chest had been burned from the inside out. And it had. This is what was so profound from the doctor, "Robert, it will take your heart about a month to physically heal from the procedure. However, it will take a couple months after that for your heart and brain to learn how to work together again. When it comes to exercise or trying to exert yourself, your brain will try the same pathways that were mis-wired and now have been severed. At first, you will struggle and get tired doing basic things like taking out the trash or getting the mail. But, keep in mind, that it is the struggle itself that will cause your heart and brain to learn how to work together again. Mr. Brown, your heart will heal."
It is the struggle that allows the heart to heal. Since that day, I have been more grateful for every day I have here on earth. Moments with my family, moments with friends. A phone call and even the mundane. Most things like this fade over time. This has not and I don't think will. Yesterday morning, on my morning walk, as the sun began to rise in that same spot, I decided to capture some pictures for me and for you.
