Jump - The Flower Story
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At 14, I was living the dream. I had the most beautiful and mysterious girlfriend in school. Having Julie at the center of my life, kept me from the shameful reality that I really had no home anymore. In the Spring of 1997 my parents split up into different parts of the house and by fall, one day after coming home from school, my dad had moved out. Although part of me understood, nothing could change the fact that the only life I’d ever known split in half that day. I had gone from one girlfriend to another since I was 12. An average, out of shape, football player looking for a cheerleader to cheer me on and somehow give my life value, meaning and distract others
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from the reality of the broken pieces of my heart and body that were scattered inside and out of the house at 406 Brolett Circle. With my dad in an apartment now, there were 2 addresses, 2 bedrooms, 2 refrigerators, 2 phone numbers and 2 different sets of rules to live by. The good news was there were no more fights and when I didn't like one parent I could simply leave and go stay at the others.
Julie was a cheerleader and a model. When she said yes to ‘going together’, I hit it big. We quickly became enamored with each other, passing notes every day, trading lockers to get closer to each other and kissing after school. While her parents were home, we'd sneak kisses while watching TV. She really enjoyed teasing me with ‘Young and the Restless’ style passion and then walking away suddenly leaving me with an endless desire for more. While my parents split apart, Julie and I were getting close. She was so mysterious and always in charge of ‘us’ and I followed her like a puppy.
The day finally came... she whispered to me with a wink, "Hey, my parents are going to be gone today and tonight so I’ll be home all-alone. Why don’t you come over and we can play." It was all I could think about all day long and when the bells rang at the end of school I rode my bike as fast as it would carry me and parked it in the bushes on the side of her house. After she let me in, it wasn’t long before we were passionately kissing. Things were moving further when a moment later, we could hear the garage door motor kick on. ‘Oh crap! Quick, go out the back door.’ she said as she scrambled to put herself together. We kissed again and I ran out as she whispered, "I’ll call you." I ran out the back of the house and up the side and sped away as fast as I could pedal.
Her dad had come home from work early to change clothes for the evening event. She invited me back at 8pm to ‘have fun’ in her bedroom. Later, she asked if I'd brought a condom and I said no, so instead we kissed and played. We lost track of time and then we could hear her family downstairs. I quickly got myself together, climbed out her second story window and jumped off the roof. I had never experienced this level of trust and closeness with someone before. I was Alive!
The next day at school, she told me that her parents were inviting me over for dinner at 6pm. I was so excited! I arrived exactly on time, nicely dressed with flowers for Julie’s mom. Julie answered the door and escorted me straight to the kitchen where there was no food. Presenting my chair, Mrs. Johnson said, ‘Hello Carl. Come over and sit down. We’d like to have a talk.’ This was not a dinner, but something very serious as I handed the flowers to her mom. I began to transition in my mind into this being a parent meeting where I was to tell them of ‘my intentions’ of being with their daughter and other adult matters. After a long awkward silence, Mrs. Johnson, staring at me with her cold blue eyes, pulled out and held up a folded up note. She began to carefully explain that Julie had found this on the ground at school and that ‘I’ had written horrible things about Julie being a whore. They would not let me hold the note as I had never written such a thing or would have never said that to anyone. Julie was the only thing that was good in my life. In the glance of the note I did have, I focused as hard as I could see. We had passed so many notes, I could tell the handwriting looked halfway between mine and Julie's. My heart sank to the floor as I realized that Julie had written the note. As Mrs. Johnson sat and accused and threatened me I was crying so hard, I could not hear what she was even saying except, “You are to never speak to or be near Julie again.”
One reason I was attracted to their family was because they were Catholic. I thought Catholics were closest to God. Mrs Johnson was wearing all black and had on a large, pewter style cross necklace. The whole time her piercing eyes and words were cutting through my soul she was twirling her cross until in a flash-instant her necklace fell apart all over the kitchen table. After a very awkward moment of gathering the pieces she said, "That’s odd." and then kept at me. I looked at Julie to try and get her to speak or respond. She had tears well up at one point, but in forty-five minutes her and her dad never spoke one word. Pedaling away in a thick fog of confusion, I was broken, alone, accused, betrayed and no home to go back to.
Julie was a cheerleader and a model. When she said yes to ‘going together’, I hit it big. We quickly became enamored with each other, passing notes every day, trading lockers to get closer to each other and kissing after school. While her parents were home, we'd sneak kisses while watching TV. She really enjoyed teasing me with ‘Young and the Restless’ style passion and then walking away suddenly leaving me with an endless desire for more. While my parents split apart, Julie and I were getting close. She was so mysterious and always in charge of ‘us’ and I followed her like a puppy.
The day finally came... she whispered to me with a wink, "Hey, my parents are going to be gone today and tonight so I’ll be home all-alone. Why don’t you come over and we can play." It was all I could think about all day long and when the bells rang at the end of school I rode my bike as fast as it would carry me and parked it in the bushes on the side of her house. After she let me in, it wasn’t long before we were passionately kissing. Things were moving further when a moment later, we could hear the garage door motor kick on. ‘Oh crap! Quick, go out the back door.’ she said as she scrambled to put herself together. We kissed again and I ran out as she whispered, "I’ll call you." I ran out the back of the house and up the side and sped away as fast as I could pedal.
Her dad had come home from work early to change clothes for the evening event. She invited me back at 8pm to ‘have fun’ in her bedroom. Later, she asked if I'd brought a condom and I said no, so instead we kissed and played. We lost track of time and then we could hear her family downstairs. I quickly got myself together, climbed out her second story window and jumped off the roof. I had never experienced this level of trust and closeness with someone before. I was Alive!
The next day at school, she told me that her parents were inviting me over for dinner at 6pm. I was so excited! I arrived exactly on time, nicely dressed with flowers for Julie’s mom. Julie answered the door and escorted me straight to the kitchen where there was no food. Presenting my chair, Mrs. Johnson said, ‘Hello Carl. Come over and sit down. We’d like to have a talk.’ This was not a dinner, but something very serious as I handed the flowers to her mom. I began to transition in my mind into this being a parent meeting where I was to tell them of ‘my intentions’ of being with their daughter and other adult matters. After a long awkward silence, Mrs. Johnson, staring at me with her cold blue eyes, pulled out and held up a folded up note. She began to carefully explain that Julie had found this on the ground at school and that ‘I’ had written horrible things about Julie being a whore. They would not let me hold the note as I had never written such a thing or would have never said that to anyone. Julie was the only thing that was good in my life. In the glance of the note I did have, I focused as hard as I could see. We had passed so many notes, I could tell the handwriting looked halfway between mine and Julie's. My heart sank to the floor as I realized that Julie had written the note. As Mrs. Johnson sat and accused and threatened me I was crying so hard, I could not hear what she was even saying except, “You are to never speak to or be near Julie again.”
One reason I was attracted to their family was because they were Catholic. I thought Catholics were closest to God. Mrs Johnson was wearing all black and had on a large, pewter style cross necklace. The whole time her piercing eyes and words were cutting through my soul she was twirling her cross until in a flash-instant her necklace fell apart all over the kitchen table. After a very awkward moment of gathering the pieces she said, "That’s odd." and then kept at me. I looked at Julie to try and get her to speak or respond. She had tears well up at one point, but in forty-five minutes her and her dad never spoke one word. Pedaling away in a thick fog of confusion, I was broken, alone, accused, betrayed and no home to go back to.
Through Story Exploration:
There is good in this story, 'I longed to be part of a good family. I was adventurous. I didn't go to Julie's to take advantage of her or bring harm.' However, evil set out to steal from my hopes and dreams. After pedaling away, I stopped near some bushes in a median. It was then that evil began to sew lies. These are a few of them:
- You will never have a home to go to
- Giving away your whole heart leads to betrayal
- You were so stupid to think you would be accepted
- In serious times of trouble, God often watches or is on break
- You are an idiot when it comes to sexual things
The Truth: When I shared this with the men and women in my group, I was so ashamed of this stupid kid at the door with flowers. However, I looked up with surprise. Two of the women had tears and one was angry at Julie for using me. One woman cried and said, 'I am just overwhelmed that there was a boy who sought to do good instead of bringing harm to a girl in a situation like this.' One man was angry at the dad. And more... For the first time, I actually had a group of friends in the kitchen. They put their arms around me and we all walked out and rode our bikes away together and with my head high. From fear to freedom. I'm actually proud of that kid now.
The 4 Story Types
There are four types of stories that will be shared in a rotation: Social Harm - an event that unfolded at school, on the playground, church choir practice, in class, at camp etc. Personal Trauma - loss of a loved one, first love, betrayal of a friend, physical or emotional harm. Family of Origin - a family trip, night around the dinner table... a story that exemplifies how you fit into your family and the role you played. Sexuality - events that shaped your sexual identity and understanding or your sense of what it means to be a man or a woman. It is our hope that these stories will stir your desire to engage your own story that is part of God's epic story.
